LEO wives

Dear Law Enforcement Officer wives,

Its been a week since our reality made a significant leap into a much darker place. A line in the sand was crossed. How has your week been? I have thought of all of you. In the moments I have felt alone and felt that no one understands, I have remembered each of you. As friends have loved me well, I have prayed that you have had friends love you well. When I have cried alone in the car, I have thought that maybe you are too. As we have researched and decided to invest in more protective gear I have prayed that you might have the funds to do it too.

It is a noble calling to be a police officer and its a noble calling to be the wife of one. It is not easy. It takes a strong woman, and I pray that you believe that about yourself.

A sweet friend sent me some scriptures to dwell on as I find my hope in the Lord in the coming weeks and months:

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 40:11

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.

Hebrews 4:16

Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

We recently put this one by our door and it is my hope for my officer every time he leaves our house:

Judges 6:12

When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior."

What a blessing it has been for me to have some good conversations with other police wives this past week. There is nothing better than feeling united in times of tragedy.

As you continue with business as usual this week, and supporting your officer in a MUCH needed career path. I want you to know you are not alone.

love,

a mrs. trying to love my officer well.

I married an officer...for the good the bad and the ugly

I, like most of you, have been heavy hearted today. Everyone has a different perspective as they read about the fact of the recent deaths in Baton Rouge. As I was sifting through all the noise I googled, "Facts of the Alton Sterling shooting". I use words differently than any regular person, because I married a police officer. I am sensitive to words like, "murder" because I have learned more about the justice system ( all of its flaws and all) than I ever dreamed I would.

My perspective is that of a police wife. I have three young children and my husband chose to GO BACK to this career after two years out of it. All lives do matter. This is a tragedy. Every day in America there is new tragedy. I grieve that my children have to grow up a way I do not recognize. I also grieved the day my husband decided to go back to police work. I cried like a baby. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WANT TO DO THAT WORK? There is a shortage of officers in our part of the world. And I am sure, you can imagine why.

They are hated. Simply for wearing that uniform. I can not get on facebook these days without preparing my heart for comments that are so hurtful to make as a general statement against police officers.

My husband has given money away, bought meals, LOVED, and shared the gospel with many people who are homeless or "unloved". And he works with men who do ALL these things. Its incredible. The hearts many of them have despite all the hate towards them.

Do you know what I pray tonight? Lord, please do not discourage the good officers out there and make them quit. This is a mission field that needs good officers.

When you see good in officers, share it, encourage them, love them. What if all the good ones quit?

I am sad and heavy hearted for all sides to this story. I pray for true justice and I pray for our people to unify to better love oppressed and those who protect and serve.

What I wish I would have known as a young officer wife.

So we just went back to nights. Oh the dread I had. Oh the anxiety and stress. Oh the hate I always had.

But this time has been different. While there are SO many things different about it. The biggest thing I wish I would have known as a young officer wife is how incredibly ok it is to not be ok. To need encouragement and help and support. I didn't know how much I needed it then but now I see how the support of friends ushered me into a wonderful run at nights. It fueled me and gave me life.

Ladies- if you have friends who work shift work, are married to a shift worker or officer surprise them with something thoughtful. This life CAN be isolating but it doesn't have to be. My community of friends truly blew me away. Some meals, some surprises, help with kids, stop bys for girls time, etc. It just made me feel so loved and fueled to do this life! You know when you experience friends who make you want to be better friends? BE that for people. Its just the greatest gift to receive I tell you!


This is about to hang in our house as our new family mantra.

House of Belonging

 I am just obsessed with it. The whole idea of it is what lead us to police work this time around. Being foolishly courageous and taking daring risks. I am so thankful that the Lord is near and allowed me to hear him calling us back here. One day I will tell you the story. You really wont believe it.

I would tell my young self to believe this, and to believe in this job more. If you are a young wife hating the police life or shift life really. I have.been.there. It is SO hard. But hang tight. Its a noble and needed thing.

You want normal? Make a normal for you. Young police wife wanted normal so bad. I begged for normal and what is that? This time we are blazing new trails and make a normal for our family.

I would tell my young self to laugh more at all the stories officer had/has to tell. I was just so over them you know? But just as much as I want him to laugh at the 27th story of the twins doing something funny with poop, he wants me to laugh at his stories.

Simple things. But they make all the difference.

I married an officer. not a mr.

Shift life

So I am two weeks back on police wife life. My officer is still on days and working the admin phase of his training. Its sort of dreamy because its a win win for both of us.

He is back at the job he loves and I have him home at night.

Even better bonus...Christmas off.

Then two weeks into it, things get shifted around (see what I did there?) and now he is working Christmas Eve, Christmas day, New Years Eve and New Years day. Did I mention our anniversary is on New Years Day?

6 years ago this would have sent me into the pits. I would have worn black clothes to work the next day and cried off and on all day and eaten McDonald's or something terrible to stick it to the bad news. I am a big fan of grieving a loss correctly. But today as I started to cry I realized this is it. I have a choice right here that will dictate my  path. It will set the mood for the hard realities of shift work.  I have a choice to choose joy. Not to "suck it up" but to choose joy. Choose to acknowledge the positives and live in those blessings.

I know. I KNOW. Its almost obnoxious to read. BUT its CRUCIAL in this job. Its life giving. Its survival. Try it. You will see.

An Officer and a Mrs.

Well hello again. My last post was about the time everything changed. Officer decided to try out being a mister.

We moved.

Found out we were pregnant.
with twins.

Moved again.

Spent two sweet years working on our marriage in an 8-5pm job with great people and a great schedule.

And now. We are back. Obviously a lot happened during that time. But that sums it up quite sweetly. I wrote a post I never published about us leaving police life. It is strange to me I never posted it but I also think I always knew we would be back.

I definitely thought life would be easier on the other side. My marriage would get better, I would be a better..everything. But guess what? It wasn't better and I wasn't better, because my heart was what needed changing not my circumstances.

What did I learn? The Lord is SO faithful. He provided and cared for us in the best ways. Some of the time it was a desert and He still provided SO much joy. Even now as I write this, on the Officer's first day back in police work, times are tight and a little tough but we have so much confidence this is where we should be. Can there be anything sweeter than that?

We return on a mission and the world is not offering us a walk in the park. I am proud of my officer for following the Lord back here. We return to the same department and same great people. What a community. We feel blessed.





I married an officer. Not a mister.

7, a mutiny against excess

This isn't a book review, I am not that cool. This is a review on something that is making a crazy impact in my life and I've only just begun reading it.

This summer...well this year really, I've been struggling with discontentment, jealousy, envy...blah blah blah. Nasty things really. I'm not proud of it at all, but yet...stuck.

So, the most amazing things have come across my path. First of all I have awesome community and friends around me who have encouraged and challenged me to get out of this funk and given me great avenues to do so. 

1. I read and went through Stuck, by Jennie Allen. It reminds me a lot of recovery ministries because it basically has you identify your idols and what draws you AWAY from God instead of stirring your affections for God. So awesome and I did this solo. I think it would be even more beneficial to do with a friend or group but I didn't get to do this this time around.

2. The sermon series going on at Watermark right now is INCREDIBLE. Its Power of God and has been on Grace and Prayer and rocked my socks off in a way that keeps me thinking about it all week. I love those.

3. I joined a book club. My first ever. This was exciting stuff to me as I have been wanting to do this since I graduated college 4.5 years ago. So I said yes to this book club and had NO idea what the book was....and it was 7, the mutiny against excess. I laughed out loud when I learned what this book was and also wanted to cry about the way God was loving me in the most kind and gracious way in this nasty season of my life. It actually amazed me when I stopped and felt what all was going on. When I wrote it in a list form. Man God loves me.

So I am reading this book and because of the book nerd I am, I will probably be finished with it by the end of this week and then re-read each chapter before book club. I love reading and once I start its really hard for me to stop. 

I am participating in some way with my book club each week. Jen Hatmaker, the author, made drastic changes in the categories of food, clothes, waste, spending, possessions, media and stress for 7 months, My book club is doing it in week chunks. I am on food week. This one isn't super huge for me because Officer and I take part in many extreme food fasting because we are both all or nothing people, which means we struggle with self control with food, which means we live most of the time with strict food perimeters. Otherwise we would choose to live off of donuts, ice cream, hot tamales and queso....really we would. That pretty much sums up our first year of marriage and my pregnancy with Fox...

But mostly this book is changing my thinking and I like it. When I threw out the half loaf of molded bread, or looked at my full closet or glanced at the homeless guy soliciting off the tollway, it yanked on my heart in each of these places in ways it never had before.

It also is showing me ways to have deep gratitude. I had dinner last night with my bestie from college. She was my roommate, dorm neighbor, bible study co-leader, and first accountability partner. I suddenly was again in sweet thankfulness for God's providence on my life. He put her across the hall from me (at random right?) and from their we sharpened each other through college. She went into full time ministry with her husband and we love hearing about the work they are doing. But it's incredible how God works. I wouldn't be where I am with out her and many other girls for that matter, but having dinner with her last night made me hear God's voice. "Dana, I've got this. I am working in ways you can't see. Won't you let me?"...seriously.

Yet...I am annoyed at what I don't have? Wow. I am praying right now God continually works on me as I read this book and shepherd my little fox. I have a life time of grace he has given me and how quickly I forget. 

Officer life wears on me more than I really like to admit. I get so entitled due to how hard we work, but this feeling. This list of God's goodness. WOW. It is causing me to be speechless. Its causing me to listen. Its moving me. 

All that to say, this probably is not the last you will hear of 7!

-an officer and a mrs.

Gratitude

I was having a moment.

You know the kind where your mind sneaks away from you. You know you are entertaining an idol that you shouldn't but you to tell yourself its ok.

I was looking at houses. Gah. Such a trap for me. But I said to my brain, I am just looking. We have a few sets of close friends looking, and looking with them or for them is no trouble for me, but as soon as I look at them for myself...trouble. I trick myself into all the reasons why we should get one, when reality shows its just not time. This type of thinking leads me to more "stuff" that I need.

Then, I felt sorry for myself. Valid. Craziness.

Then in my selfish, self-pitiful moment officer walks in with Starbucks. A hard day = Starbucks he says.  He then heads back out to his night full of work.


BAM.


The Lord humbles me so often in the way he tenderly shows me how I'm COMPLETELY missing the point.

And tonight, a tall decaf pike roast was the little blessing to remind me how I have SO much more than I need. HE has blessed me greatly.

#gratitude