Wife Wednesdays

Recently, the Officer and I talked about all the stages of his career we have already been through. I also have a lot of questions from wives about joining the police world. Therefore, the Officer and I came up with a new segment that will happen on Wednesdays. Wife letters. Welcome.

Dear Academy Wives,

I hope you love a man in khaki, and big huge books that look similar to encyclopedias we used in the library to do research...you know, before the Internet. The academy is a lot like law school. Only when your husband gets done he will make A LOT less money. Ha ha. You have to be able to joke about it, otherwise you could really camp out on the fact that your husband is getting paid next to nothing to keep the world safe and he is learning very similar things that people learn in law school. One time in the academy, I attempted to talk the Officer into law school. I am blessed that he had so much confidence in the decision to be in law enforcement because he is made to be an officer. Having a happy husband in his career is truly priceless. Remember that. It makes his decision easier.

Officer and I got married while he was in the academy. This meant we got married on a holiday (New Years Day) and he had to go back to the academy the very next day. Man, did he shower me with great things the next day. I had a day at the spa, so if you read this and want to feel sorry for me, DON'T.

The academy year, is a year of dedication and sacrifice. Flash cards, the police alphabet, quizzing him on different scenarios. It's a lot like exam week at college, but encourage him and hang in there. What he is about to do is more noble than the world likes to say. He is vowing to protect and serve. What a life of purpose he is about to be able to lead. Do things to help him always remember how he feels now. Once an officer, it is really easy to become hard hearted and jaded. Pray now that your cadet has empathy for our broken world. Pray that God would give you all he needs to be the best support along the way and to find a way to love what he does. Always find the good.

Love,

~an Officer and a Mrs.

two cents on a tuesday.

So lately...I have started many posts lately, but finishing them has been a problem. We have been in a pretty crazy season as I have started working again. My best friend is getting married at the end of this month and my sister is getting married at the end of the summer. Also, the officer has been home a lot ( Which I am so thankful for). I feel like a newly wed in a lot of ways, because I am learning so much about him for the first time. I can't even believe how great he completes me. I know that is super cheesy to say, but we have such complementary strengths that we never knew because we never got to experience them together. Man, that fact is hard.

Being a police wife is so hard for the things you miss. No way around it. Some girls handle it way better than others and that doesn't make them better or worse. It all has to do with your own strengths and personality. I would say I fall somewhere in the middle. My love language is gifts and acts of service. Not quality time. I do feel for those girls because it has to be harder. (But I digress....)

I wanted to share something that has helped me personally understand myself in a way that has also helped my husband understand me. Have you ever taken strengths finder?

O.M.G. I totally recommend it. I must say. I love personality tests and putting people in boxes, so I eat stuff like this up with a spoon, but its still great information to find out even if personality tests are not your thing (I am such a nerd, I know).

It takes about 30 minutes, depending on how much you agonize over the questions. At the end, it will produce your top 5 strengths. It will be your strengths that you currently have or your potential strengths you could develop in the future. Its so interesting.

Without further adieu, I give you my top five strengths: Belief, Achiever, Individualizer, Discipline, and Communication

You get this huge report and a TON of resources on the website for life after you have taken the exam. TOTALLY worth the $15. For a relationship, marriage, work team, or job search this is an awesome tool.

For example, because belief is my number one strength, everything I do is 100%. If I commit to anything, I am usually ALL in. When the officer shares a goal or a dream with me in his career, it consumes me. I think about it, imagine it, dream it and then pray about it to wrap my mind around it. When I have concluded this process I often come to him with a big game plan and he may not even know what I am talking about. He is a dreamer and idealizer. These are the two most opposite strengths so knowing this about each other helps tremendously. I have to remember he might just be processing out loud and he has to remember if he is going to say it I am going to run with it.

~an officer and a mrs.

MRS. OFFICER

Ha, wow. Did anyone else know this is a song? I didn't. I am way out of the loop on pop culture these days except what the officer and my sister tell me. This song, "Mrs. Officer" is by Lil Wayne. But its about a lady cop, not an Officer's wife. Ha. I got excited for about two seconds thinking, "WE HAVE A SONG?" Ha. No. We do not.

Anyway(Sorry, back to the blog.), Part of the reason I started this blog was because when I became an Officer's wife 3 years ago...there was nothing encouraging for me to read about. NOTHING. ZIP. ZERO. Talk about a depressing and unknown world to enter. Everything I found was discouraging. I know I have said this before, so I am sorry if its redundant, but its an unreached group in the large world of blogging, publishing, and self-help. It shocked me to think in the media stricken world we live in. I can't find a thing to encourage me that life as an officer's wife will be okay. Then I saw our climbing divorce rate, and I realized....that is why. No marriag survives to write about it. Sad reality.

What does that mean to me?

1. I need ALOT-A support. 

First and foremost, from the Lord. He is absolutely #1 and the center of our life. We fail at that miserably at times, but we follow a Lord of grace who makes his mercies new to us every morning (Lamentations 3). He saved us with his death on the cross (John 3:16) and because we believe in him we will have eternal life (John 5:24). Second, from each other, third from our family and fourth, from community. I think community can look like a lot of things, but I think it is essential to growth in Christ and even in marriage. We were not meant to be an island or an island of just the two of you.

2. This blog will be encouraging to you.

Not all the time, because I am human (and a dramatic one if I am being honest), so for that reason you will get some rough posts...but here is a place you will find encouragement to know you can make it. I'm figuring it out as I go. It has not been any easy road by any means. However, the places God has brought me and the strength I have been given to continue are far more satisfying than the scenery along the way.

So stay awhile, and read along about the tails of my journey with the officer.

School of Rox- 6 months

Your 6 months photo shoot you were not feeling...but looking sooo pretty as usual

You are STANDING in this picture Roxie...STANDING. We have standing play time a few times a day and you LOVE it.

Your First Valentine's Day loot from mom and dad....we are creating a girly girl with your first purse, ring, new bows and a glitter bracelet.

This is what dinner looks like at our house now. Baby food every where!

I took this, because I thought it was so smart of you when you figured out how to hang your sippy cup on your bouncer.

You have graduated out of your carrier to sitting in high chairs and grocery carts when we are out!

Dinner time....I just love this sweet face!

Daddy reads a bible story to you every night and even though most nights you most enjoy banging on the book, every now and then you get into it and it melts our hearts

.

We just recently started pack n play time, where you have time to play by yourself each day in there and you are so funny during this time. This is what I came into one day.

6 months:

6 month clothes

6-9 month pants

Size 3 diapers

Dr. Stats:

16.11 pounds (60%)

26 inches long (50%)

Updates (this was a productive month!):

You completely sit up

You roll all over to either side 

You get up on all fours and rock all the time

You can push off with your arms and wiggle worm your way to something you want

You CAN sleep 12 hours, but with all the productivity and growing...it was a rough month of sleeping and getting you on a different schedule with food.

You nap two times a day now

You LOVE watching older babies play or getting to look at babies

You talk a TON especially in quite situations...(like when mom and dad got their taxes done)

You can stand and lean against your toys

You want to clap so bad and have almost figured it out. I think you will this month

You almost get waving to someone. 

You answer when we say your name!!

You still are a half thumb sucker and hardly interested in the passy anymore. 

You love chewing on your dolly or mommy's iPhone.

Food:

YOU LOVE VEGGIES and HATE fruits

Your favorites are peas and sweet potatoes and rice cereal

You HATE peaches and will bear apples

You are allergic to oats and squash...hopefully we will grow out of that.

Roxie,

Every stage with you has been more fun that the one before, while I look at a newborn baby and wish you were that small again, its so fun to see you recognize us more and more, know your name, and be able to learn how to do things. You are HILARIOUS and make these faces that have your dad and I rolling. We feel so blessed that God has entrusted us with you. He is so gracious to give us such a precious little girl. You are beautiful and we just adore you.

Love,

momma and daddy

~an Officer and a Mrs.

The Mrs. Must haves...

To all you Mrs. out there who love an Officer, like me, I am sure you get me when I say you are now an expert on all things protection. Whether its getting a concealed hand gun license, understanding why your friend got a ticket, helping them know the next steps after their identity is stolen, or the classic, "can you get me out of a speeding ticket." (I love that one.)

While it is true, I do know more about the law than I ever would have before. I see the need to protect yourself in a whole new light and I notice sketchy activity while on a leisure Sunday run I wish I never cared to notice. However, this is the life of a Mrs. to my officer.

With that being said, I have acquired a few items and developed a few opinions over the years that I think are important for the amount of time you as a Mrs. most likely spend alone compared to the average Jane. I actually think all Jane's should do these things because then the occasional time by themselves wouldn't be as nerve racking. 

1. Here is what you need to have in your head, "what would you do if..." It used to drive me crazy when the officer would go through all these scenarios with me at night (he is totally an over thinker...aren't they all). It drove me nuts until I realized it made the possibility less scary in the silence of our apartment, the unexpected suspicious noise, or the multiple times the electricity has gone out in our building for more than a few hours while I was by myself

2. Don't move to the next step of life until you are ready. What do I mean by that? Live where you are most comfortable. We still live in an apartment. As much as I like the idea of living in a house, for the amount of time I have always spent by myself, or now with my daughter, I like the idea of walls that back up to other people. I haven't been quite ready for a house so here we stay. For many other reasons too, but my comfort has always been huge. We also never live somewhere were I don't feel 100% safe. 

3. Pepper spray- a good quality can ( and a can-spray attitude to match). It will ease your mind to have some kind of weapon in your hand and usually this will do. Especially if you are not comfortable carrying a taser or a handgun. 

4. Faith- that God has given you everything you need. Until marrying the officer I would have considered myself a total scaredy cat. I could NEVER be alone and never wanted to be alone. I didn't watch scary movies (still don't like them) and if I did I would have to have someone go to the bathroom with me. Marrying my officer has stretched me more than any other area of my life. I did not want to change, but I am SO glad that I am. God has made me so strong, so even if its hard, have faith that he can give you enough strength to do it!

5. Partnership with your officer. You gotta have a man who is in it with you and you have to be in it with him for the long hall. Commitment is everything, no matter what job your spouse takes. Marriage is never easy but being committed simplifies it. When you know you are not departing from your partner it makes decisions easier.

~an officer and a Mrs.

5 things.

This may sound odd, but I am an even number person. I always keep our air conditioning on an even number, finish pumping gas on an even, leave an even-numbered tip...you get the picture.

But I also happen to like 5's. I was born on the 15th, and so was Roxie. I like that we share that. Five was often my number in sports growing up, five was my favorite lane to swim in when I was on the swim team, I graduated from high school in 05. Therefore, with that back ground I give you five things I have learned and shared more than five times recently, and I feel the need to share them. You should know this post is geared toward "mrs. married to officers."

1. It is soo important to have "your thing" with your husband. Does anyone watch Up All Night with Will Arnett and Christina Applegate? Well its hilarious, especially if you are new parents and this past week was about how sacred their time watching, Friday Night Lights was. As silly as it is, I think it nurtures your relationship to share things like a new TV show. When Officer was first on nights we, had a Wednesday morning date. He would get home at 6:30am from working all night and have my FAVORITE thing in the WORLD....Whataburger coffee, breakfast burritos and we would watch our TV show together. I know, a disgusting habit, but we looked forward to this time and we would enjoy it for the first time together and catch up just like regular people did at night. Even as I share nights with the officer now, I miss our Whataburger Wednesdays.

2. You can have a good cry about it every now and then. But you have to get it out of your system. Life is too short to hate the fact that you married an officer not a mr. Plus, someone has to do it, so someone has to be an officer's wife. And that someone is you. It's an honor to gain the strength God has allowed me to gain. I wouldn't be half the woman I am today if my husband wasn't an officer, and I am truly grateful for that. But take a day, wear black, eat ice cream, have a donut (forgive the stereotype). Whatever your thing is, do it. I tend to be on the dramatic side, so it actually does help me to dim the lights, crawl under the covers with a strawberry duncan donut and have a good cry, but if I did that all the time I would look very different (in more ways than one).

3. Getcha some girlfriends who will encourage you with truth. You can have a pity party yourself, so getting a crowd to bring negativity to your situation is not productive. Find girls who will have some good clean fun with you, and hear your heart on the hard days, but encourage you and remind you of the good things and the blessings that are always there.

4. Take an interest in officer things. I chose to learn the police alphabet (I don't think that is the legit term) but nothing makes officer more happy then when I can tell him a license plate, officer style.

5. Believe the best in your officer. Its a tough world they are in. I think tougher than all the mr.'s out there. More temptations, high divorce rates, and more dangers. Be proud of them and for them, EVEN when you wish they did something else. I have realized this alot, more than anything, my officer needs someone to always be for him. I am NOT the best at this one, but I am really working on it.

~an officer and a mrs.

Roxie- 5 months!

Roxie, This past month of development was a blast! 

You, ate rice cereal and oatmeal from a spoon! Probably 1% went down the first time and I would say we are at 50% now!! You can roll back over so you can start at one end of the rug and go all the way!

You had your first taste of some banana and WENT TO TOWN on it!

You make this new noise with your sweet little lips that = spit every where but its SO adorable

5 months in your jeggings!! You look like a little lady!

Your sweet feet!

Update:

Still sleeping 10-12 hours

3 naps a day

pacifier only in the car or when you are playing

LOVE your bouncer and playmat

LOVE songs and people bouncing around in front of you

TALKER especially before you fall asleep in your bed

Can sit up for small periods of time and then usually you lunge back. Crazy girl.

Roll over and back but only in one direction

laughs and smiles CONSTANTLY

Sizes: 

3-6 month shirts and pants

6-9 months sleepers (you are so long!)

0-6 month shoes

2 diapers

We love you and I cant believe its all ready been 5 months! SLOW down girl!!!