In the weeks following giving birth, new moms have little to no sleep, emotions like a roller coaster and total loss of time to care about one's hygiene or looks....if you catch me on the right day I can cry on cue about the idea of crying. Not to get out of a ticket or to get something I want...just because I can cry or should I say weep all the time. I think its the fact that while pregnant I was getting 9 hours of sleep and now I get anywhere from 3-6 on a good night. Some days this is plenty but others its rough and everyone can tell. I hear this goes on pretty strong for the first 6 weeks...some husbands call it the "dark days" which is quite hilarious to me.
My sweet Roxie is 3 weeks old today...half way through the "dark days". In her first 3 weeks of life she was jaundice, lost a little too much weight, became colic and then we discovered acid reflux. All these things you would think would equal the worst baby on the planet, but she is still the best little lamb on the planet. She smiles (even though my nurse-to-be sister swears they don't smile this early), she coos, she sleeps, she can put her self to sleep and she sleeps with this beautiful look on her face that melts her momma's heart. However, because of these issues, we have had some HARD days and I mean hard. I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world but on certain days where she cried for hours to high to count I am thankful for the Lord who relieves me of the pressure to do it all on my own.
My biggest encouragement is this: I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me....Phil 4:13
This might seem cliche to you...but that is the honest truth. I have never appreciated a verse more. My quiet times look different than they used to and these days the simpler verses have gotten me through. They are the one's I can repeat over and over in the late hours of the night, or driving around Addison, praying Rox falls asleep. I want to turn to people and doctors to give me the instant fix, but the Lord is teaching me to turn to him and then and only then will I have every thing I need to be the best mom for Roxanne.
So what does that mean? I might be a train wreck for the next few weeks. I will look at my fashion blogs and fitness blogs that I adore, but be ok that I am just not quite there. I will be, that is the beauty of it, but for now I am hoping to brush my teeth in the morning and night, shower an appropriate amount, wear my hair in something besides a pony tail at least once a week, and get laundry done. Meanwhile I celebrate this morning, the fact that I get to care for Roxie all day long. I don't have to gear up for heading back to full time work anytime soon. Its just me and her and for that, I will look like a train wreck. for this little beauty...
