What I wish I would have known as a young officer wife.

So we just went back to nights. Oh the dread I had. Oh the anxiety and stress. Oh the hate I always had.

But this time has been different. While there are SO many things different about it. The biggest thing I wish I would have known as a young officer wife is how incredibly ok it is to not be ok. To need encouragement and help and support. I didn't know how much I needed it then but now I see how the support of friends ushered me into a wonderful run at nights. It fueled me and gave me life.

Ladies- if you have friends who work shift work, are married to a shift worker or officer surprise them with something thoughtful. This life CAN be isolating but it doesn't have to be. My community of friends truly blew me away. Some meals, some surprises, help with kids, stop bys for girls time, etc. It just made me feel so loved and fueled to do this life! You know when you experience friends who make you want to be better friends? BE that for people. Its just the greatest gift to receive I tell you!


This is about to hang in our house as our new family mantra.

House of Belonging

 I am just obsessed with it. The whole idea of it is what lead us to police work this time around. Being foolishly courageous and taking daring risks. I am so thankful that the Lord is near and allowed me to hear him calling us back here. One day I will tell you the story. You really wont believe it.

I would tell my young self to believe this, and to believe in this job more. If you are a young wife hating the police life or shift life really. I have.been.there. It is SO hard. But hang tight. Its a noble and needed thing.

You want normal? Make a normal for you. Young police wife wanted normal so bad. I begged for normal and what is that? This time we are blazing new trails and make a normal for our family.

I would tell my young self to laugh more at all the stories officer had/has to tell. I was just so over them you know? But just as much as I want him to laugh at the 27th story of the twins doing something funny with poop, he wants me to laugh at his stories.

Simple things. But they make all the difference.

I married an officer. not a mr.

Shift life

So I am two weeks back on police wife life. My officer is still on days and working the admin phase of his training. Its sort of dreamy because its a win win for both of us.

He is back at the job he loves and I have him home at night.

Even better bonus...Christmas off.

Then two weeks into it, things get shifted around (see what I did there?) and now he is working Christmas Eve, Christmas day, New Years Eve and New Years day. Did I mention our anniversary is on New Years Day?

6 years ago this would have sent me into the pits. I would have worn black clothes to work the next day and cried off and on all day and eaten McDonald's or something terrible to stick it to the bad news. I am a big fan of grieving a loss correctly. But today as I started to cry I realized this is it. I have a choice right here that will dictate my  path. It will set the mood for the hard realities of shift work.  I have a choice to choose joy. Not to "suck it up" but to choose joy. Choose to acknowledge the positives and live in those blessings.

I know. I KNOW. Its almost obnoxious to read. BUT its CRUCIAL in this job. Its life giving. Its survival. Try it. You will see.

Wednesday Wife Letters- me

Dear Mrs.

This week has been a beating and its only Wednesday...

Its good though. Good things are happening. It's just craziness.

Officer and I have been planning and dreaming for the future lately. I am the realist so I rarely indulge in dreaming with Officer, but when I do I enjoy it.

I am a big picture person. This I have learned most since being a mom. I used to argue with people and say, "no, seriously I am detail person," when they would look at how I work and the way I organize. Silly me, I don't keep lists, I live in chaos and I function best thinking about the big goals, not the small ones. I really am blessed by this way of processing because it saved me from a lot of trouble. I am always thankful to the Lord for that. But I am not a detail person...not even a little bit.

As I look at a living room with books and toys scattered about, a completely empty toy shelf (because they are all on the floor), a kitchen table covered with beach towels with art projects sitting on top, a baby gate in front of the tv and entertainment piece that makes the tv slightly harder to see, and a stack of papers to file, sort and figure out...I feel a bit overwhelmed, but also right at home. 

Motherhood has brought all of these things out. I have written about this before because it has shocked me. I am much more of a free spirit than I ever thought, I spend 99% of the time not being put together and with out make up. This is not at all how I used to be. My style has shifted to more of a bohemian urban style, I am still very into fashion but I find myself drooling over things I would have thought were weird before. Fox is on a pretty specific sleep schedule but everything else is pretty free. We are teaching her baby signs and are enforcing rules and discipline along the way but I am not falling on that side of the street as naturally as I thought I would. It is definitely my desire, but I thought it would come easy to me. It doesn't.

I don't always wipe a toy off after someone else uses it, and I make baby food but I also give her bought baby food. Ha, again things I didn't see myself naturally doing. She is around kids all the time, we use public bathrooms and she has been sick more than her fair share of times. I am not judging if you do differently. Since being a mom, I have learned we all have to do what we think is best and everyone has different experiences that shape the way they do things. I am simply saying the way I do things.

Fox is social. She gets giddy when she sees other babies and kids, and loves interacting with them. She is also independent and keeps herself entertained a lot of the time. She is a charmer, adventurous, has the smallest pain tolerance, and she is so funny. I adore her. She is my heart and brings me so much joy. She is all the good of my officer and me. Officer is such a good completer and partner to me. Times are not always easy, we work hard at our life, but God is refining us and making us more like him one shift at a time.

This probably seems random, but that is what happens when you haven't posted in a month. Life is crazy right now and I often want to control it all. The Lord is teaching me the sweetness of being utterly out of control. Because he's got it.

~an Officer and a Mrs.

Style on an Officer budget

Hey there!

I have been out of the loop and a little out of my routine due to some major changes the Officer and I have made. As you read a few posts back the Officer and I started cross fit and are 3 weeks in to paleo!! Woot woot. I want to die a little bit on the inside because I have an INTENSE love/hate relationship with cross fit. 


I love the change I already feel and I hate that I have been sore for 2 weeks. 


I love how quick the work outs are but I hate that I did pull ups for the first time since the 5th grade PE assessment yesterday.


I love that it is competitive and requires discipline and stretches me, but I hate that I fight back throw up or actually throw up some where during the work out...haha yes this happened.


TRY a class or a week! It's amazing but it aint for sissies.

Back to the purpose of the post. I wanted to share some affordable fashion inspirations and fun crafters that I follow that make us Officer families capable of having cute and nice things on our budget.

I have been reading this one for months but just discovered this one. The first one has great fashion steals and sales on affordable cute clothes and the other one has life organization and my personal favorite: how to maximize your closet.

I love this crafter and just discovered this one. These are some of the most creative people ever. I wish I had the brain space to come up with this stuff.

 I am a new woman because of this one. I am not great with hair but because of her tutorials I have figured out how to tease and get volume on a regular day and change of from the boring every day hair styles.

That's what this Mrs. is reading these days!


Happy Tuesday!


~an Officer and a Mrs.

Wife Wednesdays

Dear New Police Wife,

I am thinking of you this week, remembering you as a distant memory. Those first nights alone, how you woke up in the morning so excited you "made it through the night." I remember when you first realized this was going to be your life. It seemed so bleak and lonely those first few months. A new wonderful husband, a new wonderful life, and 3-4 nights a week, you live it by yourself. I promise you, you will be able to rally all kinds of support of people who think this life you lead is treacherous. You will get used to people saying, "I could never do that." or "I can't believe you do that." I hate to say it, but you have to (as my dad always said to us growing up), "grow some hair on your chest" or maybe "be a solider" would be less graphic and weird description.

I know, I know. It is easy for me to say this where I sit, but if you knew me before I was a police wife, you would know I was the least likely girl on the block to adopt the phrase, "be a solider". I would simply say, "no thank you." With a smile of course.

The list goes on and on how to adopt this new mentality, but here is really the only thing that matters- you love your officer. Done. He picked this very noble calling, and for all the sacrifices you make and all the sacrifices he makes, why not push him to greatness. Encourage him to enjoy it, cry when you need to, have your rants, indulge in the occasional pity party from your friends who complain that their husband missed dinner. But find a stopping ground and remember you LOVE your officer. Remember that he is more lonely that the average office working Joe too. Remember that everyone has down sides to the career they choose and everyone has things that are worse than you. Do NOT let yourself believe that your situation is the worst. You are not eternally unique.

Soon, you will look back on the past 3 years as I do. I stand in awe of the journey the Lord has taken me on. I can't believe who he has allowed me to be and who he has given to me along the way.

Hang in there.

Be a grizzly.

~an Officer and a Mrs.

FAV things Friday....

Happy Friday! 

Here is what the Officer and I have been this week....

the Mrs. Fav spot- baby girl is getting to be a bit picky with her food so I have been ALL over this blog for helpful tips!

the Officer's fav spot- next week him and I are starting CROSSFIT....yikes. I am terrified. I love fitness and working out but it has been a LONG time since I have been challenged in this way. However, as we firmly believe and talk more about here, its important to have goals and have fun together. SO we are doing CrossFIT!

OUR recipes are coming from here. We are doing a hybrid of the paleo diet as we begin Crossfit. We are wanting to increase our discipline but be realistic so we have made a few modifications. More to come on that.

the Mrs. is drooling over the new line of baby clothes here...

the Officer is really wanting to vacay some time soon here...

the Mrs. is reading this book and this book right now on marriage and health.

Happy Friday!

~an officer and a mrs.

Wife Wednesdays

Dear New Detective Wives,
Can you give me your thoughts? I am new at this. I am learning about words like, "sting" and "on call" (which seems like all the time) and getting used to meeting my hubs for lunch in a "civilian" looking car while he is wearing a suit and tie with a big ole' badge and gun holster on his belt. I laugh, but smile with joy when I see the Officer growing into a........Detective. Among those funny words and new schedule is one happy officer, excuse me...Detective. You might have weird hours, or our husbands might be getting into stuff that makes our hairs stand up or even worse, make us afraid to go outside, but thank God people desire to do what our guys do. Thank God men want to catch the bad guys. Thank God men who love the Lord want to catch the bad guys. What would we do without them.

If you feel like you now look at places with these dingy glasses (the opposite of rose colored) and see how bad the world is, then this is how our husbands must see the minority of the world the majority of the time. Does that make sense? It helps me sleep at night.  Hope it helps you.

In the mean time, I am enjoying the ride of detective wife. We have seasons of life. Seasons where your schedule seems perfect, and seasons where your schedule seems impossible to participate in society as anything other than a vampire. Maybe you have been a vampire for awhile. Find joy in it, no matter what. Life is too short.

~an Officer and a Mrs.

Communicate Communicate

Good Morning from the Mrs.

Man are we in a busy season. I am queen of "over committing" and for me to be turning things down, you know its busyness over here. Mostly because we have a lot of friends getting married and a LOT of friends having babies.

Before August we are expecting....

6 new babies in our world- 3 boys, 2 girls and 1 unknown (i am partial to the unknown! Click here to know our story)

7 weddings- Jeff is best man in one and I am maid of honor in one....

This is loads of fun because we are seeing our friends and family enter into a beautiful season of life and marrying their better half. I love it, but it has just has made for some crazy weeks and will continue.

Officer and I had to have a time out last week, and catch up because sometimes in craziness your communication, well, sucks.

We were totally not doing life on the same page and had to get back in sync. We got inspired by this blog, as we always do, and decided to write our own Tuesday questions. Their questions are so great, but we tweaked them a little bit to fit the Officer and me.

1. What does your week look like?

2. What do we need to do for Roxie this week (baby sitter, help watching her when Mrs. works, medicine, appts, etc...)

3. How can I better serve you this week?

4. What are you doing this week to better your relationship with Christ, to better your relationship with others, and better your career?

5. What do you need prayer for this week?

These help with a lot of miscommunication we have so we are going to commit to regularly going through these...follow up to come.

~an Officer and a Mrs.

Wife Wednesdays

Recently, the Officer and I talked about all the stages of his career we have already been through. I also have a lot of questions from wives about joining the police world. Therefore, the Officer and I came up with a new segment that will happen on Wednesdays. Wife letters. Welcome.

Dear Academy Wives,

I hope you love a man in khaki, and big huge books that look similar to encyclopedias we used in the library to do research...you know, before the Internet. The academy is a lot like law school. Only when your husband gets done he will make A LOT less money. Ha ha. You have to be able to joke about it, otherwise you could really camp out on the fact that your husband is getting paid next to nothing to keep the world safe and he is learning very similar things that people learn in law school. One time in the academy, I attempted to talk the Officer into law school. I am blessed that he had so much confidence in the decision to be in law enforcement because he is made to be an officer. Having a happy husband in his career is truly priceless. Remember that. It makes his decision easier.

Officer and I got married while he was in the academy. This meant we got married on a holiday (New Years Day) and he had to go back to the academy the very next day. Man, did he shower me with great things the next day. I had a day at the spa, so if you read this and want to feel sorry for me, DON'T.

The academy year, is a year of dedication and sacrifice. Flash cards, the police alphabet, quizzing him on different scenarios. It's a lot like exam week at college, but encourage him and hang in there. What he is about to do is more noble than the world likes to say. He is vowing to protect and serve. What a life of purpose he is about to be able to lead. Do things to help him always remember how he feels now. Once an officer, it is really easy to become hard hearted and jaded. Pray now that your cadet has empathy for our broken world. Pray that God would give you all he needs to be the best support along the way and to find a way to love what he does. Always find the good.

Love,

~an Officer and a Mrs.

two cents on a tuesday.

So lately...I have started many posts lately, but finishing them has been a problem. We have been in a pretty crazy season as I have started working again. My best friend is getting married at the end of this month and my sister is getting married at the end of the summer. Also, the officer has been home a lot ( Which I am so thankful for). I feel like a newly wed in a lot of ways, because I am learning so much about him for the first time. I can't even believe how great he completes me. I know that is super cheesy to say, but we have such complementary strengths that we never knew because we never got to experience them together. Man, that fact is hard.

Being a police wife is so hard for the things you miss. No way around it. Some girls handle it way better than others and that doesn't make them better or worse. It all has to do with your own strengths and personality. I would say I fall somewhere in the middle. My love language is gifts and acts of service. Not quality time. I do feel for those girls because it has to be harder. (But I digress....)

I wanted to share something that has helped me personally understand myself in a way that has also helped my husband understand me. Have you ever taken strengths finder?

O.M.G. I totally recommend it. I must say. I love personality tests and putting people in boxes, so I eat stuff like this up with a spoon, but its still great information to find out even if personality tests are not your thing (I am such a nerd, I know).

It takes about 30 minutes, depending on how much you agonize over the questions. At the end, it will produce your top 5 strengths. It will be your strengths that you currently have or your potential strengths you could develop in the future. Its so interesting.

Without further adieu, I give you my top five strengths: Belief, Achiever, Individualizer, Discipline, and Communication

You get this huge report and a TON of resources on the website for life after you have taken the exam. TOTALLY worth the $15. For a relationship, marriage, work team, or job search this is an awesome tool.

For example, because belief is my number one strength, everything I do is 100%. If I commit to anything, I am usually ALL in. When the officer shares a goal or a dream with me in his career, it consumes me. I think about it, imagine it, dream it and then pray about it to wrap my mind around it. When I have concluded this process I often come to him with a big game plan and he may not even know what I am talking about. He is a dreamer and idealizer. These are the two most opposite strengths so knowing this about each other helps tremendously. I have to remember he might just be processing out loud and he has to remember if he is going to say it I am going to run with it.

~an officer and a mrs.

MRS. OFFICER

Ha, wow. Did anyone else know this is a song? I didn't. I am way out of the loop on pop culture these days except what the officer and my sister tell me. This song, "Mrs. Officer" is by Lil Wayne. But its about a lady cop, not an Officer's wife. Ha. I got excited for about two seconds thinking, "WE HAVE A SONG?" Ha. No. We do not.

Anyway(Sorry, back to the blog.), Part of the reason I started this blog was because when I became an Officer's wife 3 years ago...there was nothing encouraging for me to read about. NOTHING. ZIP. ZERO. Talk about a depressing and unknown world to enter. Everything I found was discouraging. I know I have said this before, so I am sorry if its redundant, but its an unreached group in the large world of blogging, publishing, and self-help. It shocked me to think in the media stricken world we live in. I can't find a thing to encourage me that life as an officer's wife will be okay. Then I saw our climbing divorce rate, and I realized....that is why. No marriag survives to write about it. Sad reality.

What does that mean to me?

1. I need ALOT-A support. 

First and foremost, from the Lord. He is absolutely #1 and the center of our life. We fail at that miserably at times, but we follow a Lord of grace who makes his mercies new to us every morning (Lamentations 3). He saved us with his death on the cross (John 3:16) and because we believe in him we will have eternal life (John 5:24). Second, from each other, third from our family and fourth, from community. I think community can look like a lot of things, but I think it is essential to growth in Christ and even in marriage. We were not meant to be an island or an island of just the two of you.

2. This blog will be encouraging to you.

Not all the time, because I am human (and a dramatic one if I am being honest), so for that reason you will get some rough posts...but here is a place you will find encouragement to know you can make it. I'm figuring it out as I go. It has not been any easy road by any means. However, the places God has brought me and the strength I have been given to continue are far more satisfying than the scenery along the way.

So stay awhile, and read along about the tails of my journey with the officer.

The Mrs. Must haves...

To all you Mrs. out there who love an Officer, like me, I am sure you get me when I say you are now an expert on all things protection. Whether its getting a concealed hand gun license, understanding why your friend got a ticket, helping them know the next steps after their identity is stolen, or the classic, "can you get me out of a speeding ticket." (I love that one.)

While it is true, I do know more about the law than I ever would have before. I see the need to protect yourself in a whole new light and I notice sketchy activity while on a leisure Sunday run I wish I never cared to notice. However, this is the life of a Mrs. to my officer.

With that being said, I have acquired a few items and developed a few opinions over the years that I think are important for the amount of time you as a Mrs. most likely spend alone compared to the average Jane. I actually think all Jane's should do these things because then the occasional time by themselves wouldn't be as nerve racking. 

1. Here is what you need to have in your head, "what would you do if..." It used to drive me crazy when the officer would go through all these scenarios with me at night (he is totally an over thinker...aren't they all). It drove me nuts until I realized it made the possibility less scary in the silence of our apartment, the unexpected suspicious noise, or the multiple times the electricity has gone out in our building for more than a few hours while I was by myself

2. Don't move to the next step of life until you are ready. What do I mean by that? Live where you are most comfortable. We still live in an apartment. As much as I like the idea of living in a house, for the amount of time I have always spent by myself, or now with my daughter, I like the idea of walls that back up to other people. I haven't been quite ready for a house so here we stay. For many other reasons too, but my comfort has always been huge. We also never live somewhere were I don't feel 100% safe. 

3. Pepper spray- a good quality can ( and a can-spray attitude to match). It will ease your mind to have some kind of weapon in your hand and usually this will do. Especially if you are not comfortable carrying a taser or a handgun. 

4. Faith- that God has given you everything you need. Until marrying the officer I would have considered myself a total scaredy cat. I could NEVER be alone and never wanted to be alone. I didn't watch scary movies (still don't like them) and if I did I would have to have someone go to the bathroom with me. Marrying my officer has stretched me more than any other area of my life. I did not want to change, but I am SO glad that I am. God has made me so strong, so even if its hard, have faith that he can give you enough strength to do it!

5. Partnership with your officer. You gotta have a man who is in it with you and you have to be in it with him for the long hall. Commitment is everything, no matter what job your spouse takes. Marriage is never easy but being committed simplifies it. When you know you are not departing from your partner it makes decisions easier.

~an officer and a Mrs.

5 things.

This may sound odd, but I am an even number person. I always keep our air conditioning on an even number, finish pumping gas on an even, leave an even-numbered tip...you get the picture.

But I also happen to like 5's. I was born on the 15th, and so was Roxie. I like that we share that. Five was often my number in sports growing up, five was my favorite lane to swim in when I was on the swim team, I graduated from high school in 05. Therefore, with that back ground I give you five things I have learned and shared more than five times recently, and I feel the need to share them. You should know this post is geared toward "mrs. married to officers."

1. It is soo important to have "your thing" with your husband. Does anyone watch Up All Night with Will Arnett and Christina Applegate? Well its hilarious, especially if you are new parents and this past week was about how sacred their time watching, Friday Night Lights was. As silly as it is, I think it nurtures your relationship to share things like a new TV show. When Officer was first on nights we, had a Wednesday morning date. He would get home at 6:30am from working all night and have my FAVORITE thing in the WORLD....Whataburger coffee, breakfast burritos and we would watch our TV show together. I know, a disgusting habit, but we looked forward to this time and we would enjoy it for the first time together and catch up just like regular people did at night. Even as I share nights with the officer now, I miss our Whataburger Wednesdays.

2. You can have a good cry about it every now and then. But you have to get it out of your system. Life is too short to hate the fact that you married an officer not a mr. Plus, someone has to do it, so someone has to be an officer's wife. And that someone is you. It's an honor to gain the strength God has allowed me to gain. I wouldn't be half the woman I am today if my husband wasn't an officer, and I am truly grateful for that. But take a day, wear black, eat ice cream, have a donut (forgive the stereotype). Whatever your thing is, do it. I tend to be on the dramatic side, so it actually does help me to dim the lights, crawl under the covers with a strawberry duncan donut and have a good cry, but if I did that all the time I would look very different (in more ways than one).

3. Getcha some girlfriends who will encourage you with truth. You can have a pity party yourself, so getting a crowd to bring negativity to your situation is not productive. Find girls who will have some good clean fun with you, and hear your heart on the hard days, but encourage you and remind you of the good things and the blessings that are always there.

4. Take an interest in officer things. I chose to learn the police alphabet (I don't think that is the legit term) but nothing makes officer more happy then when I can tell him a license plate, officer style.

5. Believe the best in your officer. Its a tough world they are in. I think tougher than all the mr.'s out there. More temptations, high divorce rates, and more dangers. Be proud of them and for them, EVEN when you wish they did something else. I have realized this alot, more than anything, my officer needs someone to always be for him. I am NOT the best at this one, but I am really working on it.

~an officer and a mrs.

Who are you?

Who are you? - I have said this phrase to Roxie about 15 times since Monday. She rolls over and back like a maniac which means when I turn around to grab her a toy she goes from being on her play mat to this:

Girlfriend is out of control with her movement and this is BRAND new as of Monday.

This is me and her watching a baby Einstein movie. She loved all the colors and this was so fun to see.

Her 5 month post is coming up which blows my mind and I want to save more of this for that post since I do those specifically for her to have to look at one day. It blows my mind how quickly babies can change and be doing something so well one day that they were not even close to doing yesterday.

This week has been a busy week for Officer. He started his new position. He refused letting me take the classic "first day" outfit but he looked so great in his suit let me just say. This has been transition week for both of us which means we are literally tired all the time. Its also been one of those weeks that everyone has to have about once every few months where it feels like the world is against you and nothing relationally is going right? Does anyone else have those? 

Lessons with my Officer:

One thing I've learned being married to the Officer is that we get our energy in different ways. Here is what I mean:

Officer rarely chooses to have a lazy Saturday or Sunday to just be home- doing chores, watching movies, making lunch...unless GOOD football is on. He likes spending hours in Barnes and Noble, game stop, going to sit in the massage chairs at Brookstone or just "being out" as he says. Nothing to crazy. I on the other hand like staying in comfortable clothes for most of the day, make coffee, watch whatever repeat movie that is on USA (Sweet Home Alabama, Two Weeks Notice, Pretty Woman...those kinds) and just be home. This is a weekend difference.

During the week: I am a social queen bee. I love filling Roxie and my calendar with lunch, coffee, walking dates, etc when I am not working. I would make a date with a friend any chance I can. The Lord has wired me to be a huge girlfriend girl. But Officer could stay in every second he can on a week night. The only thing he likes to do outside of work and home is his classes and Merge. Which is the pre-married ministry at our church we serve in. Oh.My. do we love serving with Merge. That is however another post sometime.

Its been good for me to serve him with looooonnnnggg Barnes and Noble visits, standing in game stop "playing" the sample games and letting him get out on his own to meet a friend or to be by himself. He blesses me quite often with watching the Fox while I go run with a friend, or as I work most recently since I just got back to weddings. This blesses me huge too. I love working in this capacity.

Bottom line- Officer and I recharge differently. We both are extroverts who love being the life of the party but we get that energy in different ways. It has blessed our relationship in more ways than I can count as we both have learned how to love each other in their specific way more often.

Don't get me wrong. We are not marriage experts as we have been married only 3 years. We just had a harder first 2 than some people probably do, mostly due to the fact that I was still learning how to be married to an officer and not a Mr. So I share these things if a) any other officer's wives need encouragement or maybe you are about to be one and b) because sometimes I find a lot of help in places I didn't expect it. Hoping God uses it in one of those ways. I mean how insane is the blogging world and though it can over take our time, what a blessing to be able to learn from people the way it allows us too.

hmm.

~an officer and a Mrs.

Cha-Cha-changes in 2012

Love me some Saturday mornings. Most of the blogs I get out of bed giddy to check on take the weekend off, but Saturday mornings for me have been really no different than any other week day on account of the fact that my officer has been a night officer...until now...you can insert a picture of me jumping up and down excited giggling here.

For the next year my officer will be a regular Joe. Working 8-5pm, Monday through Friday, with holidays off....excuse me did you I just hear myself say he gets holidays off? I still don't know what that means.

People always are surprised when he isn't off on a holiday. And I have this whole line I save for these moments about how nurses and doctors and officers have to keep working because the world doesn't stop for a holiday yada yada yada...though I must admit I have to fight off irritation, the truth is, if I didn't call my officer husband, I would never have that much know how about the workings of shift work...I have to remind myself this...back to the changes of 2012.

Anyway he is going to go to bed WITH me Sunday night and WAKING up WITH me Monday morning. Crazy. My thankfulness to the Lord is unbearable, I can't believe the Lord is allowing us this fun season. This is a big year for us as a family and all the celebrations for our family and friends. Typically I have to explain how Officer would love to be here but can't because of his job, but this year he will make almost everything with me. I also love that little fox gets to have her dad at everything. Thank you Lord!

The past 3 years have been patience and waiting and also a lot of disappointment so getting to see my officer take this step in his career brings me joy and reminds me that God is faithful and working when I don't see. I need only be still. (Exodus 14:14)

So for 2012, we might experience some normalcy. We are praying to use this time to grow in our relationship with God, each other, family and friends. Also a great break to remember all the happenings of the past 3 years and share the good stories with you all!

~an officer and a mrs.

An officer and a mrs bucket list

This has been an on going creation of ours since we married in 2009. I wanted to post what we have checked off, what we've added and where we are at. I know one day when Roxanne reads this, she will enjoy seeing her parents dreams. Some silly and some endearing, some we talk about all the time and some we never mention. I want her to know the list though.

I think having these dreams are so important to the mystery and growing spark in your marriage. I think an active list Is a small tangible thing to keep oneness. To dream together and to achieve goals together.

Officer is better at this than me. He is a huge dreamer. Always plays the "what if's" that my logical and practical brain can barely handle. I appreciate this in him though.

Anyway here is the list:

Horse back ride on the beach & mountains 
Travel together to:
 -Maui 
 -Vegas 
 -San Francisco
 -New York
 -Chicago
 -France
 -Italy
 -Ireland
 -Greece
 -Bahamas
Be parents 
Write a book (in progress)
Run a race (3.25.11 rock n roll half!!)
See George Strait live
Fund our kids through college
Own a home

Separate lists:
Be in a movie (Jeff)
Scuba dive (Jeff)
Fight in a tournament (Jeff)
Sky dive (Dana)
Run a half marathon (Dana)
Run a full marathon (Dana)
Carry and give birth to a baby (Dana)
Visit Europe (separately but now we need to travel together)

These are things we have been doing and adding since college, I think we are due for an update though. Anyway, with the new year and goal setting, sit down and make a bucket list with your spouse!! Document so you can check them off and your kids can look back on them.

~an officer and a mrs.

Marrying an officer continued...

Where was I? Oh yea, lots of tears and a rough first year. Above is a picture from our wedding, SUCH a fun day!!


We had lots of these conversations, "so last night I thought this guy was going too....

-attack me
-come at me
-come after me

Or my personal favorite: "Don't panic, I am fine, but..."

I married the guy who is always in the action, the kid who always ended up with stitches, the one who would never back down from a fight, the designated hero.

We had to draw lines on what he could and could not tell me because I would be over come with worry, but more real, I would be so overcome with fear of being alone. That was the hardest part for me. I am an extroverted people person who liked being with people even when I was having "quiet time". This new found alone time haunted me.

I tell you all of these things because for the first year, ehh, first 1.5 I was a victim of my circumstances. I can keep listing all the different things that I thought were terrible about my life, but bottom line was, I was bogged down unable to see a lot of great beauty. Like for starters, I married the love of my life. Officer was love at first sight for me and I think that every day. We have our hard days, sure, but man do I love him.

I married the "designated hero" who God created to be an officer. I'm serious, this is his sweet spot. He can smell trouble and loves finding it. He makes our city a better place and LOVES his fellow officers. He is wonderful at it and doesn't burn out on action and helping people. He is genuinely compassionate for the less fortunate and law breakers. I personally do not get his heart some time, but praise Jesus he is out there and HE LOVES IT! Did I mention that?

I married a guy who cares for me and was trying to lead me the best way he knew on this new journey.

I married a guy who desired for me to be stronger and more independent. He has given me the ability to learn how to trust in my Savior in a deeper way. I truly know how to rely on God in a way I would never have learned otherwise, and officer has always lead me back to that truth.

I married a guy who surrounded me with good people to walk through that hard first year, and encouraged every opportunity to create more support or more adventures for me along the way.

That first year we....

-traveled to Maui
-visited all my besties still in college, whom i missed so much
-visted some besties in new mexico
-I completed my first half marathon
-he boxed in his first tournament
-bought a puppy
-moved (we really like moving...you will learn)
-joined a community group at our church


AN insanely joyous year...so what was the game changer for me?

THIS IS HUGE. If you hear anything from me...this was it. I still remember the day I read it. You see, my story wouldn't be my story without my faith in Jesus Christ. My faith is truly was allows my life as a mrs. to my officer to be fun, but the verse that changed it is:

Jesus commanded Peter, "Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?" GAME.CHANGER. WHy? I realized, this IS my life. I am married to an officer. I love him and adore him so I realized I have two choices, every day: a. sulk and be miserable b. drink deeply the cup the Lord has poured for me. Its been different ever since. GOd has allowed me to see joy i never saw before. ALl the good and there is SO much good. So...this our story. Hearts... ~an officer and a mrs.

Marrying an Officer

SO I thought I would give a little bit of our story, our officer and Mrs. story.

This was the last thing I expected you see. I was in my last semester of my junior year of college, engaged to my handsome, God-loving, public relations majoring, senior fiance when it happened...

I'll never forget, we were passing the English building on campus when he said to me, "I think I want to be a police officer....." the rest is history.

The months that followed, or really two years that followed were full of bliss and pain. This wasn't the life I was thinking I would lead. I grew up in a house where kitchen knives were the scariest weapons, and my parents worked a business together....needless to explain more I had very different expectations for marriage. But don't we all think marriage is something that it's not, thanks to TV, media, Hollywood and bad examples....?

Anyway we got married while officer was a cadet in the academy. We got married and he had to return to class the next day. Poor guy. I spend the day at the spa...I know so rough.

But from there...It was a hard first year. He worked some days but mostly nights in that first year and I was too afraid to shower at night in our apartment by myself, slept with an ax by my bed, put a dresser in front of the bedroom door, and cried often. I laugh thinking about those days because by God's sweet grace, I am come along way.

Why did I start going this direction on the blog? I read lots of bad advice and was in search of something good, and quite honestly found nothing...here is why:

Stats of police couples:

According to police chief.com while the national average is 48% of marriages end in divorce, law enforcement is closer to 75%...yikes and this is the part I hate...the dumb dumb excuses why:

Law enforcement officers and other first responders face extraordinary challenges in marriage and family relationships due to factors such as chronic job stress and irregular work schedules. Studies have shown that law enforcement officers who experience ongoing stress are more likely to display anger, distance themselves from their family members, and have unsatisfactory marriage and family relationships. In addition, domestic stress and crises often affect the job performance of first responders. Some of the unique stressors experienced by law enforcement officers include carrying a gun, working hours that are unusual or interfere with holidays or family events, and being on call for emergencies. These individuals, whose service is vital to their communities and their country, are at high risk for divorce.


Here it goes...I am going to say it, only because I have lived it...those are just excuses like anything else, but that is the majority and reality of our world and believe me it has and still continues to be challenging.


But this is our story about how we make it work and enjoy life along the way...


~an officer and a mrs.