Wednesday Wife Letters- me

Dear Mrs.

This week has been a beating and its only Wednesday...

Its good though. Good things are happening. It's just craziness.

Officer and I have been planning and dreaming for the future lately. I am the realist so I rarely indulge in dreaming with Officer, but when I do I enjoy it.

I am a big picture person. This I have learned most since being a mom. I used to argue with people and say, "no, seriously I am detail person," when they would look at how I work and the way I organize. Silly me, I don't keep lists, I live in chaos and I function best thinking about the big goals, not the small ones. I really am blessed by this way of processing because it saved me from a lot of trouble. I am always thankful to the Lord for that. But I am not a detail person...not even a little bit.

As I look at a living room with books and toys scattered about, a completely empty toy shelf (because they are all on the floor), a kitchen table covered with beach towels with art projects sitting on top, a baby gate in front of the tv and entertainment piece that makes the tv slightly harder to see, and a stack of papers to file, sort and figure out...I feel a bit overwhelmed, but also right at home. 

Motherhood has brought all of these things out. I have written about this before because it has shocked me. I am much more of a free spirit than I ever thought, I spend 99% of the time not being put together and with out make up. This is not at all how I used to be. My style has shifted to more of a bohemian urban style, I am still very into fashion but I find myself drooling over things I would have thought were weird before. Fox is on a pretty specific sleep schedule but everything else is pretty free. We are teaching her baby signs and are enforcing rules and discipline along the way but I am not falling on that side of the street as naturally as I thought I would. It is definitely my desire, but I thought it would come easy to me. It doesn't.

I don't always wipe a toy off after someone else uses it, and I make baby food but I also give her bought baby food. Ha, again things I didn't see myself naturally doing. She is around kids all the time, we use public bathrooms and she has been sick more than her fair share of times. I am not judging if you do differently. Since being a mom, I have learned we all have to do what we think is best and everyone has different experiences that shape the way they do things. I am simply saying the way I do things.

Fox is social. She gets giddy when she sees other babies and kids, and loves interacting with them. She is also independent and keeps herself entertained a lot of the time. She is a charmer, adventurous, has the smallest pain tolerance, and she is so funny. I adore her. She is my heart and brings me so much joy. She is all the good of my officer and me. Officer is such a good completer and partner to me. Times are not always easy, we work hard at our life, but God is refining us and making us more like him one shift at a time.

This probably seems random, but that is what happens when you haven't posted in a month. Life is crazy right now and I often want to control it all. The Lord is teaching me the sweetness of being utterly out of control. Because he's got it.

~an Officer and a Mrs.