I wanted to share my update as a mother now for 3 months. As Roxie grows, so do I because this is a brand new journey for me as well.
I keep thinking of where I was a year ago each month because up until December, this time last year I was not pregnant or planning on being pregnant.
At three months, I am back in my old clothes...but that is about the only "old" thing that returns. I am in a new routine with a new self I look at in the mirror.
I realize more than ever my need for our Savior. I am a natural server, but that doesn't make me unselfish. I am a very selfish person still, but a baby shows you how unimportant you are and that there is very little room for selfishness.
I would do anything, and I mean ANYTHING to protect Roxanne. Its the strangest feeling. Being a scared and cautious person, its weird to be filled with so much strength and courage regarding my daughter.
I catch myself craving freedom some times, wishing I could go to a movie, head out on a run, sneak away with my officer...but that is usually when Rox is sleeping or having a fit, which for her are very short...than she flashes that smile that reminds me so much of her daddy and I am beyond thankful for the gift of her life. I can't believe, STILL, that I am entrusted to raise her and teach her about God. It overwhelms the heck out of me, but has brought me to a beautiful place with the Lord, because I can't do it without Him.
Roxanne, I pray you love Jesus, and that you see the Lord's work in your dad and me. I also pray you know how much I love you. I pray you never doubt the father's love or your momma's love. And if you do one day, I pray that he surrounds you with wonderful people to remind you of his goodness. That has been the sweetest reminder in my life. I love you lamb!
momma
