The facts:
-I am 11 weeks pregnant.
-I have the teeny tiniest bump
-I am getting my energy back
-I have to eat just about every three hours or I puke...
-I am struggling with SO many insecurities since I found out I was pregnant....and that is what I want to share....
So, like I said my insecurities have been under attack since I found out I was pregnant. I know these things are not from the Lord, but yet they flood my thoughts....in every way. From the thoughts about being a good mom, and raising my child in a family that loves the Lord. Being able to love my husband, manage a house, raise a baby, and work...
Then there are the really SELFISH things...will I be able to keep up my own appearances on our new tight budget? Will I be able to keep dressing the same? What if I get fat and cant go to the gym like I used to? Will I ever get to run a marathon?
The Internet is full of blogs and sights that make you want. WANT WANT WANT. From that girl who works out EVERY day and obsesses over her body, to the girl with all the best clothes and sporting the latest trends, to the one with the perfect house and amazing decor....they are always going to be there and the ugly green monster inside of me will always be battling those things...but what kind of mom would I be if what I am pouring my thoughts and worry into as I am preparing to shepherd a life were thoughts ALL about me. The Lord has blessed me with a baby- I get to start raising a child with a husband who loves me.
I might not be the one with the great tan, perfect body, great house, and a wardrobe that Vogue would do a special addition on, but I have been blessed with the gift of life and the Lord is in control and so sovereign. I am so undeserving of his grace but so thankful for it.
So readers, that is where I am...honestly. I have found its help me to be real about where I am at as I go through this season of life...here is a picture of where we are at. Not showing enough for a bump picture but a good reminder of how big baby is...
